


Why do I love you like I do?

by Rizz07



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Friendship, M/M, Max is hurting, Pierre being a good friend, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizz07/pseuds/Rizz07
Summary: Excusing himself, Max hurriedly got up from the table. All but running out of the restaurant instead of heading to the toilets like he had announced. Silently cursing himself for being so stupid. For letting it effect him so much. He should be over it by now for god’s sake!
Relationships: Charles Leclerc/Daniel Ricciardo (hinted), Onesided Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo, Pierre Gasly & Max Verstappen
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	Why do I love you like I do?

**Author's Note:**

> Found this in my drafts as good as finished. I've written it a couple of months ago and it's about time it got posted.

Excusing himself, Max hurriedly got up from the table. All but running out of the restaurant instead of heading to the toilets like he had announced. Even when it went unnoticed by everyone. He needed to get out of here. Vision blurry with unshed tears, while his chest felt tight, like he couldn’t breathe. Silently cursing himself for being so stupid. For letting it effect him so much. He should be over it by now for god’s sake!

It had started out so innocently. Daniel and him had been out for dinner together, albeit as nothing more than friends. Despite his own feelings he had sadly come to the conclusion that Daniel wasn’t interested in him like that and would likely never return them. A bitter pill to swallow. Oh who was he kidding. It had fucking hurt, tore at is heart. But he didn’t want to break it even more by losing his friendship with Daniel as well. Putting his own feelings aside, he allowed himself to be friendzoned. It was the only way he could still enjoy the man’s company, like tonight. Or at least that had been the planning when the Aussie had invited him out to grab dinner together. With him foolishly holding on to that last small bit of hope that Daniel would change his mind, that he would want him.

They were ungrounded of course, as they got completely crushed the moment Charles fucking Leclerc decided to show up at the same fucking restaurant with Pierre in tow. Daniel being Daniel had instantly waved them over, inviting them to join. He had hated it, but bit back the disappointment and anger, forcing himself to sit back with a fake smile on his face. Already knowing what was about to happen. It barely took them a minute before Daniel and Charles were in a little world of their own, completely obviously to their surrounding and the two other people at the table. Hating how invisible and unwanted it made him feel. No matter how many apologetic looks Pierre shot his way. He didn’t blame him, it wasn’t his fault, they were just both in the same boat. The only difference being that Pierre was in a loving relationship and wasn’t in love with his best friend.

So he sat there and looked ‘pretty’ so to speak, until it eventually became too much to bear. It was too painful, to not be enough. To be overlooked by the Aussie who was all but flirting with Charles right in front of him. Quickly excusing himself, he had fled.

Shoving the door wide open, he allowed himself to suck in a couple of deep breaths. Feeling like the fresh oxygen was finally able to reach his longs again. Shakily breathing out again he stumbled over to a little wall at the side of the restaurant. Dropping down on it, he raised his legs, pulling them up to his chest. Resting his chin on them, he watched out over the sea. Wondering what the hell it was that Charles had, that he hadn’t. What made him so damn special? Not once, not fucking once had Daniel ever indicated that he was interested in either him or men in general. That was until Charles came along. With him it was different. He could see it in the way Daniel looked at him. How they would constantly travel together all the sudden and even went to freaking Vegas together, of all places. And like the fucking idiot he was, he turned a blind eye to it. Forcing his jealousy back in favor of plain old denial. But what was the freaking point? He couldn’t keep continuing going down this road. Daniel didn't want him and it would only result in him get hurt, more so than he already was.

His father’s ice cold words of ‘ _no one will ever love you_ ’ returned to his mind. Back when they were spoken, he hadn’t believed them. They had been his homophobic father’s words, trying to hurt him after he had come out to him. But now…, now he wasn’t so certain anymore. Because look at him now, pathetically hiding outside a restaurant while the person he was head over heels in love with was inside cozying up with that infuriating Leclerc.

A sudden hand on his shoulder startled him, pulling him from his thoughts. Glancing up, he met with Pierre’s sympathetic eyes. And it was like something inside him snapped. The tears he had so desperately tried to hold back, flooded freely from his eyes. “Oh Max” Pierre sighed, developing him in a hug.

Not many people knew, but Pierre and him had bonded in their short period of being team mate. Truly starting the day he had went to comfort Pierre after another tough and disappointing race. Hating the way he could see the Frenchman crumble under the amount of pressure that was on his shoulders. Not just from the team and media, but from himself as well. Not that Pierre had wanted to hear it, getting angry at him, calling him a damn hypocrite. Accusing him that it was rich coming from Red Bull’s golden boy. That he had no idea what it was like. A fair point, he even admitted that. Being very aware of his fortunate position. Yet seeing Pierre on the verge of breaking down, had made him open up, tell him about his own struggles. How he had to live up to his asshole’s father’s high expectations his entire life. Of how it had separated from all the others growing up, leaving him isolated and lonely. Needless to say that had created a special bond between them ever since, even when they didn’t have all that much in common.

The Frenchman just sat there, allowing him to cry on his shoulder. Letting him get it all out. His hurt, his frustration, all of it.

“He’s an idiot you know” Pierre stated when Max finally calmed down enough to pull back.

“Who?” he hiccuped, wiping his eyes.

“Well both” Pierre admitted with a light chuckle. “But in this case I meant Daniel. Come on man, he’s foolish to not see the amazing man that is right under his nose. No, instead he decided to fall for Charles, who is one of my closest friends, but lets be honest isn't boyfriend material.” He did have a point there. Charles was pretty notorious for well not necessarily being unfaithful, but he had a hard time keeping a partner. “If you ask me, he doesn’t deserve you.” His mouth fell a little open at the surprise comment. “And I know you might not want to hear this, but I don’t believe Daniel is the right person for you.”

Blinking he just started at the man for being so bluntly honest, but then bowed his head. “I know.” It hurt like a bitch to admit it, but deep down he had started to come to the same conclusion. Today only proving just that and that he needed to let go and move on. He was needlessly torturing himself this way, by holding on, resulting in not only having to watch Daniel and Charles, but having to do so up close. If Daniel didn’t want him, he should at least stop tormenting himself. It was better to distance himself now before it would completely crushed his heart and self esteem.

“Hey.” A finger tapping his chin, making him raise it. “Don’t you dare get yourself down” Pierre told him, staring him right in the eye. “He’s the idiot that doesn’t know what he is missing.” Giving him encouraging smile. “So don’t you dare doubt you will make the right person very happy, alright.” Slowly Max nodded, even when he found it hard to believe. Like he sense it, Pierre gave him a little shove, a smile on his lips. “Although how anyone could live with you, I don’t know” the man teased with a playful wink.

Gasping in disbelief, he returned the favor and gave his friend a shove. Unable to believe Pierre had the guts to say that. Even when it made a laugh bubble up from his chest. Leave it to the Frenchman to make a comment like that in the middle of a serious conversation.

Chuckling lightly Pierre seemed content with having broken Max his mood. “Hey, what do you think about getting out of here?” the man offered, getting up.

Liking that idea, he nodded. “Sounds lovely mate.” Taking Pierre’s hand, allowing him to pull him to his feet and following him back inside.

There Pierre took initiative, leading him back to their table. Even when which each step his feet became heavier and heavier, making him more anxious. But he continued walking, pulling strength from the reassuring hand that was placed on his back. Closing his eyes for a second, he reminded himself why he needed to do this. That it would benefit him in the long run. His jaw set when his eyes fell upon the two man. They didn’t even bother to look up as they approached, proving that they hadn’t even been missed.

Another bitter pill and he swallowed back the hurt as Pierre cleared his throat, drawing the attention of the two men at the table. “Max and I are heading out guys” he announced casually, but straight to the point.

Daniel looked taken back. A frown appearing on his forehead. “But we haven’t even had dessert yet” he protested. Staring up at him in confusion.

Gritting his teeth he forced himself to act normal. “I’m not feeling too great, so Pierre offered to take me home” he lied.

The Aussie’s eyes widened, concern written in them. “Are you okay? I can take you back” he immediately offered, scrambling to his feet.

A tempting offer. _See he does care_ , crossed his mind, but he quickly pushed it back. Of course Daniel cared. He might not return his feelings, but the man still considered him a friend. That why he plastered a smile on his face and shook his head. “Nah it’s okay, stay.” Taking the first step in distancing himself.

“Are you sure?” Dark eyes seemed to drill into his. Fuck it was so easy to just give in now, but he forced himself to straighten his spine, knowing he needed to stay strong, and nodded. His throat too tight to speak. "Alrighty then" Daniel said, sounding and looking a little uncertain as he lowered himself back on his chair.

“You two have fun.” Pierre thankfully came to the rescue. Wasting no time to say their goodbyes and guiding Max towards the door. Thank god, because he wasn't sure if he would have been able to walk away himself. Tears clouding his vision once more. Deep down he knew it was for the best and needed to be done, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. His heart clenched painfully and he knew needed time to allow himself to get over Daniel. Even when every fiber in his being still screamed at him not to let Daniel go. To not allow his nemesis to have the man's love and attention. But that was also exactly why he needed to do this, to not get his emotions and heart completely crushed by them. Having to keep repeating that to himself as forced himself to continue walking, trying to ignore the pain in his chest.

This time the outside air did nothing to help him, or to ease the pain as he struggled to keep it together.

Pierre threw an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close. “I’m proud of you.” A small, but oh so very meaningful comment, bringing a sad little smile to his face. It reminded him that he might be hurting, but he wasn’t alone. He still had friends, like Pierre to fall back on, to support him and help him through this. And that knowledge gave him some much needed confidence that he could do this.

"Come on, time to forget" Pierre told him. "I know a place where you can drink away some of your sorrows." 

He could use a drink, or two, or ten. Although he doubted Pierre would allow him to get shitfaced drunk. "I'd like that" he nodded. "And thanks for this. I really appreciated it." Truly grateful for what the man had done for him today.

“Don’t mention it. Besides I wanted to be in there just as much as you did” he joked, bumping their shoulders. And Max could feel some of the tension leave his body with it. Neither could he blame the man. Charles hadn't had any attention for his friend either. No, he concluded, they were better off like this, just the two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I do apologize for any mistakes, like many of you might know my first language isn't English, and on top of that I found myself tweaking some things even in the final prove read 😳🙈 Anyway I'm curious to know what you all think. Let me know what you think on here or find me on tumblr: Rizz07


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